Prayers Are Already Being Answered

Chemotherapy began yesterday with three different drugs being administered. We are reminded again how powerful these drugs are as we were given an explanation of each one with the side effects that may accompany them. Believe it or not, one drug may temporarily turn the whites of Jim’s eyes blue! These three drugs will be given every day for 5 days. The doctor seemed confident that he would be able to get Jim in remission quickly. If Jim achieves remission, he will then be referred to IU Med Center for a bone marrow transplant.

A few people have asked if they could be tested to see if they are a match to donate bone marrow. We were told that the best chance for a match would be with Jim’s siblings and then possibly other family members. Jim has two brothers who have both agreed to be tested to determine if they would be a match for Jim. If they are not a match, we will then be given the criteria to see who would qualify to be tested as a bone marrow donor. Please pray that Jim would go into remission quickly.

The news of Jim’s relapse has hit us hard. The last few days have been difficult for us. However, already I can see prayers are being answered. Jim was feeling better today and sat in a chair most of the day instead of being in bed. His attitude is positive and he is good-natured. His peace about this situation helps to calm me as well. I also realize again what a man of faith he is and that encourages me look toward his source of strength as well. We were given a devotional book and together we read the entry for September 10, the day we were given this horrible news. It refers to Paul who in 2 Cor. 4:8-9 says, “’We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not despairing; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed.’ We can’t attribute Paul’s inner perseverance to any other source than the Holy Spirit.” The devotional goes on to say, “No matter how difficult or discouraging our own circumstances become, we have the very same Spirit. If we’re hindered, we don’t have to be frustrated. If we’re puzzled, we don’t have to be in despair. If we’re persecuted, we don’t have to face it alone. If we’re dying from a physical disease, we can be alive in heart and spirit. Our outer person might be exhausted and hard-pressed, but we have the assurance that our inner self is being renewed with fresh strength daily from the Holy Spirit. (2 Cor. 4:16) Please pray that we will continually seek God's strength and peace in this situation.

Brad came home from college to see his dad this weekend. Here is a picture from that visit.

Difficult News

September 29, 2009 is the one year anniversary of, my husband, Jim’s diagnosis of Acute Myeloid Leukemia. As that date drew closer, I was afraid it would bring back bad memories of a difficult time in our lives. Instead of recalling that date with dread, I was planning to have a big party and invite all our family and friends to celebrate Jim’s life and what he means to us to mark that date with celebration.

It is with a heavy heart and much disappointment that I need to tell you that this celebration will not be occurring this year. We recently found out that Jim has relapsed and his leukemia is back. We have cried all the tears we can cry and have just been so very sad at this news, wondering if and how we would be able to fight this battle yet again.

Here’s the background: On August 20, the day before we left to take Brad to college, Jim showed me a discolored swollen area of his leg which looked like the cellulitis (an infection of the deep tissues of the leg) that he had prior to his diagnosis a year ago. He saw his doctor the following morning, was given an antibiotic and met up with us at Bethel College to help get Brad settled. He seemed to be doing fine for the next week until August 27 when he came home from work with a fever and the same symptoms in the other leg. We made a trip to the Emergency Room that evening, and Jim’s doctor decided to admit him for IV antibiotics. The cellulitis resolved quickly but the hospital stay was complicated by a pneumonia shot that was given to Jim. His arm, around the site of the shot, became red and swollen and he continued to run a fever which was attributed to a bad reaction to this shot. We were told at that time that this did not indicate that the leukemia had returned. Rather, since Jim’s blood counts were lower due to the chemotherapy he had received a few weeks earlier as part of the clinical trial he is participating in, it was more likely that he picked up this infection and was not able to fight it off as easily. On September 8, Jim was scheduled to have chemotherapy again for the week. It is routine to do a blood draw before giving chemotherapy. This time, the blood draw showed some abnormalities in his counts. The doctor suspected then that Jim had relapsed and cancelled the chemotherapy and scheduled Jim for a bone marrow biopsy which would confirm if the leukemia had returned. We met with the doctor today and received the bad news that Jim had indeed relapsed. The doctor gave us a new plan of action and admitted Jim this evening to prepare for the chemotherapy that will be administered tomorrow.

This has understandably been a difficult week for us. We began our prayers on our knees with the only word we could utter before God and that was, “Help!” Through our tears we asked again for those things that our Lord has provided for us before - comfort, strength, mercy, and His peace that passes all understanding, and God’s healing touch. And now we ask again for your prayers for Jim as well. The recommendation this time is for a bone marrow transplant which requires that the cancer be in remission. Please pray that Jim’s cancer would go into remission quickly so we can move forward to the next step in the process. Pray also that Jim would maintain a positive attitude and not struggle with depression. Please pray for our family as we face this battle again one year later.

A New Beginning

With the season of spring upon us, we are encouraged and look forward to a new time in our lives; a time that includes renewal, new hope and a new beginning. As we reflect back over the last six months, we are awed at how the Lord has worked in our lives. From those early, dark days of a frightening and horrifying diagnosis to the last few weeks of hearing the word “remission”, anticipating spring and a new beginning in our lives, we have seen the hand of God over and over again. We have learned to trust in Him on a whole different level. We have learned the lessons of patience as we waited on Him to provide. We have experienced His great love for us in so many ways. Our family has been drawn closer together as we weathered the effects of this illness and trusted in God for his goodness to us. We have been overwhelmed by those people who were sent our way to help us through this ordeal in so many practical ways, from providing meals and child care to help with yard work and housework. We have a new sense of compassion for those in difficult times and have been given wonderful examples of how to help others. The number of people who interceded on our behalf was amazing, and it is difficult to describe the encouragement that brought us. Thank you for all your support and care.

Over the last few Sundays at church, we have been studying the life of David, “a man after God’s own heart.” Just as David fought the giant, Goliath, we have giants in our lives that we must also fight. They might be things such as addictions, loneliness, grief or fear. In fighting our giants, we were reminded that we need to put forth effort and action, but we must wholly lean on God for courage, and His completion in killing our giants. In preparation for a Sunday service, Jim was asked if he would be willing to share with our congregation, through videotape, how he handled his fears as he faced the diagnosis of Acute Myeloid Leukemia. If you would like to hear that sermon, you can find it here: http://www.emmanuelcommunity.org/resources.html. The title of the sermon is "The People of the Battle" dated March 22, 2009. As a closing post to this blog, we want to share Jim’s testimony with you which was presented at the end of that sermon.

The Test Results Are In

We received the call that all of Jim’s test results are in and all showed normal results. Please join us in the celebration of the words we have been waiting to hear, “You are 100% in remission!” We have been emotionally moved since this phone call with many tears of joy as we begin to share this news. We have shared many hugs and feel like our feet still aren’t quite on the ground. And, we are enjoying every second of it!

This is the end of Jim’s treatment protocol. However, he agreed to participate in a clinic trial of the known chemotherapy drug, Decitabine. This clinical trial will study the role that this drug has in preventing relapse in patients with AML who are in remission. Decitabine will be given by IV infusion over 1 hour for five consecutive days, every 6 weeks. Each 6 week period is considered a cycle. Treatment will continue for a total of 8 cycles. We have been told that Jim should be able to receive this treatment and then continue on to work. There shouldn’t be any of the typical chemotherapy side-effects of vomiting, hair loss, lowered blood counts etc. We are looking at this as a maintenance phase of treatment. This phase begins for Jim on Monday, March 23.

We want to thank you again for your interest in following us on this journey. We continue to be overwhelmed by the love and support we have received from so many. There are not adequate words to express our thanks to you for all your prayers. God has been faithful to us every step of the way, and we give the praise and glory to Him for this wonderful outcome. Watch in the next week or so for a final post to this blog as we reflect on this journey and God’s goodness to us.

Bone Marrow Biopsy

The week really went well before Jim went in for his biopsy. He didn't mention anything to me about feeling anxious about the procedure. I think now that he is working, it helps occupy his mind with other things. Right before the procedure, however, Jim called me and said his stomach was in knots. It's just never easy. The doctor gave him some Ativan to help calm him. The procedure was somewhat difficult. The needle bent as they tried to insert it to draw out the bone marrow. The good news is that Jim has strong bones. The bad news was that he had to be poked again. Jim suggested they put handlebars on the bed he was lying on so he could grip something as he braced for the pain. The joke he tells is that it was all good. He "took it lying down!" After the procedure was over, we returned home where he immediately asked for morphine to help ease the pain. We ate a little dinner which did not sit well with Jim. The morphine may have upset his stomach a bit, and he became sick and laid low the rest of the night. Over the last day or so, he only has pain at the incision site when he moves a certain way.

The next step is an appointment on Monday for an EKG, chest x-ray and ultrasound of his heart. This is a follow-up procedure to the chemotherapy treatment to determine if any damage was done to his heart by the chemo. We are hoping for a good result from those tests as Jim has not exhibited any symptoms related to his heart at all. And we continue to wait (patiently) for the results of the bone marrow biopsy.

Thanks again for following us on this journey. We appreciate your love and support.

A Few More Steps in the Right Direction

Jim's first week at work went well. He works only half days now for the month of March which seems to be about right for him. He is tired by the end of the day. Last Friday, when he saw his doctor, he found that most of his blood counts are just below the low end of the normal range. Here's the data: Jim's platelets - 149,000; Normal range is 150,000 to 450,000. They were as low as 3,000 after chemotherapy when spontaneous bruising occurred. Jim's hemoglobin: 9.9; Normal range for men is 14 to 17. Jim's white blood count: 4.4; Normal range is 4.5 to 11. The hemoglobin has been the slowest to rise which is why Jim tends to tire out easily.

At the beginning of each new year, instead of coming up with resolutions that I won't keep, I choose one little word that I want to focus on for the year. This year, I chose the word, "renew." In light of Jim's fight with leukemia, we know things will never be the same normal we had before his diagnosis. During his treatment, we had a "new normal". But this year, we are looking forward to a "new beginning". Here are some of examples of the "new beginning" we are starting to see:

Last Friday, Jim's PIC line was removed. This is the line that has been in for months at a time through which he receives medication, chemotherapy and from which the nurses draw blood. Each day, it was my job to tape plastic over it before Jim could shower. Now he is free of all that!

Another sign of a new beginning is that Jim is presently not on any medication. None! Remember this picture?

This is how my bathroom counter looks now.

Obviously, we are thankful for all the medication that Jim was able to take to treat this illness and also to help him feel more comfortable from the nasty side effects of chemotherapy. But, it is refreshing to have our bathroom clear of all those medications. A new beginning.

The other news we'd like to share with you is that Jim will be undergoing a bone marrow biopsy which is scheduled for this Thursday, March 12 at 2:00. This is the test that will determine is there is any leukemia present in Jim's bone marrow. If not, he will be declared in remission.

We are grateful for all of you who have followed us on this journey and have helped to meet our needs and lifted us up in prayer. Again, I would ask for your prayers as Jim undergoes this biopsy procedure on Thursday. He has had bone marrow biopsies three times before and tells me they are painful even though anesthesia is given. Jim has been very anxious each time he has undergone this procedure. Please pray that Jim would experience a calm and God's peace that passes all understanding as he faces this procedure. Our God is good and we are careful to give Him the praise.

It sometimes takes up to a week before the results of the biopsy are known- always a long week for us. We'll let you know as soon as we know. Thanks again for all your prayers.

It's Off To Work He Goes

It's a milestone day. Jim's doctor has okayed his return to work on a part-time basis, and today was the first day back. What a blessing to get a taste of our usual routine. Jim was greeted with a warm welcome, many hugs and pats on the back. We recognize how blessed we are to have a job to go back to in this tough economy where many of our friends and neighbors are out of work or fearful of losing their jobs. God has been good to us and we welcome this new beginning.